Sweet Childe o’ Mind

Hey ya’ll. The latest chapter of Lion Squadron is out.

Shot Down!

So here’s a good question.

Do people of the present day, people of this time (in the future in the year 2021) read books written out in long-type language with stuff like syntax and grammar, or do moderne kids with the pumped-up kicks just read comics and cereal boxes and stuff that is, frankly, crap as far as the quality of the prose is concerned?

Seriously, boys. Is Reading with a captial J.R.R. obsolete, and has it been replaced by some kind of quickie in the back of a taxi version where the readers are dumb as f*ck and do not care about your silly rules, old man.

I wonder…

No, seriously. I’m wondering if it isn’t time to invent a new and exciting type of fiction. Fiction written for the reader with the mind of a twelve-year-old, the values of a thirty-five-year-old pimp and the bank-roll of a guy who lives in mom’s basement and codes for a living.

But Dan, what type of writing could possibly satisfy of these competing, moist and juicy wants?

Well. I’ll tell ya.

A screenplay is a branch of fiction that I’m pretty damn good at. Whatchu lookin’ at?

I’ve written some. Two. Actually two. But one of them is a REAL screenplay version of Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance that could be shot tomorrow TOP THAT.

But a screenplay is a bitch to read. It’s about as fun as taking a cold bath at a rehab facility with a bunch of nurses who ask “do these hurt?”

What? What did I say?

I propose that The Royal Society of Bullshitters sanction and sponsor an expedition to determine IF a screenplay could be modified, in some form, to become a hybrid of screenplay, novella, graphic novel and some other kind of thing. A cereal box, maybe.

Think of it. An entire novel, shrunk down to fit in an average brain.

(Time out to explain that YA is fiction for people who can’t read big words. S’rat pilgrim. It ain’t “young adult” anything. It’s “Poor Reader.” Should be called PR.)

Back at it.

A type of fiction where the “ground rules” are like a screenplay but the format is like a regular book.

A regular book is about 75 000 word-o’s. A “new type” book would be about 15 000 word-o’s. Savvy? About one-fifth the size, or what a typical reader drinks while binge-ing the entire series in a week of frantic page flipping and laptop clicking.

Does that sound sweet or what?

Here’s the question. What do we call this new type of fiction? Here are some candidates.

Moviebook or Cinebook.

Refers to the “screenplay” origin and might be over the heads of PR readers.

Noviola

I like this one but this is definitely over the heads of my target audience.

Storybook

It’s grown’ on me. Like moss. But it’s just the kind of dumb thing that might fly.

and finally…

Saga

I know “saga” means the OPPOSITE of short novel, but since when did logic play a role in this?

Oh… one more.

Alternative Decorative Drama (ADD)

A completely insane choice that might just reflect my hidden, inner millennial. (As in “have you seen my collection of ADD’s? There’s a lot of Dunn in there but there’s other people too. I particularly like his dinosaur stories.”)

That’s it lads. If you have a favorite tell me in the comments. Don’t be shy about suggesting your own names for this new thing. You might be famous!