A Flat Earth Argument for the Ages

I’ve spent entirely too much time reading Sartre’ and Einstein and learning what it means to mean. Time, my friend, is not something real. It’s the result of something moving, and we can’t define it any other way. If we measure the motion and we get the same results from several different measurements, then, mi amigo, we have something like a clock.

But it’s not something that can measure the speed of light. We assume that the speed of light can be measured because we need that to be true. We assume that “matter” is a real thing that is “solid” because we need that to be true.

And we say that “The planet Earth is a sphere” because we need that to be true. But the planet Earth can be any shape and any topology that we need it to have. If we change out minds and need it to be “flat” then we can all agree that it’s flat.

There is no fact that is so undeniable that it can’t be denied. Matter and time are “constructs” and this is easy to prove– using real ideas from science. Whether you believe it or not. If matter and time are “open to interpretation” then how is it that “shape” isn’t? After all, if we can’t define matter or time in a absolute way– then how can we define space or energy or anything else? We can’t. We just “assume” things because we need them to be defined a certain way.

But don’t tell this to some people.

I keep thinking of the movie “Carrie.” Or maybe I should say the book “Carrie” but whatever you call it you can see all that hyper-religious hocus pocus turned poor old Spacey Seasick into a veritable volcano of negative waves, burnin’ and turnin’ like a human torch.

So when I encounter someone who just can’t let go of the science, and free their mind, then I imagine them catching Holy Hell for exposing their dirty pillows.

“MOM! I’m getting Louis Roosevelt Bears in here to retort your tort!! Shaddap!!!!”

WHOOSH.

Flames to the ceiling.

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