How to Raise Your Blood Pressure

I must remember…

STAY AWAY FROM FORUMS!!

Honestly, I always chuckle, then say to myself “If I want to raise my blood pressure, all I need to do is visit Britmodeller (two l’s) or Hyperscale.

Every time. Every damn time.

This time, somebody on Britmodeler actually CRUSHED a bottle of “Tamiya paint” when trying to open it.

Wut?

I cannot imagine breaking a bottle of Tamiya acrylic paint, in any way, shape or form. I think I have posted that Tamiya packaging is nearly perfect– when it comes to the acrylic. So this must be some of that evil “lacquer” shit that they sell in communist countries– maybe.

(Or maybe it’s just that in Britain, ANYTHING from Tamiya is going to “go wrong.” Even if somebody has to “help” it to go wrong…)

Anyway, the guys posts a PHOTO of the smashed up bottle! Can’t deny it. Looks like he shot it with a .22, ‘cept they can’t own guns and stuff, because, as Archie Bunker says, “England is a (censored) country”…

Rhymes with “lag.”

Then– wait for it– my blood pressure is still more-or-less normal (so far) but that won’t last.

Here comes the rest of the thread.

“Oh you poor dear! Those Tamiya bottles are NASTY!”

Wut? Nobody asks how he did something so wacky? Nobody says “Did you put it in a vise and tighten it up like Joe Pesci?” Nobody asks “Are you insane?”

No. There are a half-dozen posts where some guys share how they get the bottles open with hot water and then comes another guy with a special gadget from Gunze that is a wrench that twists off the caps…

OH BULLSHIT.

Oh my God. I have to double up my meds now.

Seriously… what is this? What Oh Lord!!!!

I’m swearing off (for now). No more forums for me for a while. It’s just that… it’s just that I NEEDS THE MORON RUSH!! I’M JONESIN’ for some idiot palaver right about now. It’s a sickness…

“I am powerless over my urge to visit idiot forums, and my life has become unmanageable…”